The importance of creating boundaries & how to do so

Here’s the thing, when we shift as a person there can be a lot of pushback from the people around us that have gotten comfortable to us being a certain way. The importance is to stand our ground and not cave into their idea of what they think we should be.

"It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it."

- Mandy Hale

If we are intent on creating lasting change we have to basically retrain the people around us and it may go as smoothly as telling our friends that we are adjusting our name and they have to update their phone contact for us. Or it may be harder and they might say things like, “Oh, but I love your name they way it is.”

The importance of creating boundaries is as important as the rules of the road. We know not to drive on the wrong side of the street, to stop at red lights and so on. This creates space for the other drivers around us to act accordingly. The same goes for our personal boundaries, when we create guidelines for how we want to be treated we let people know that is what you expect and two, it allows you to see the people that are not on your same wave length.

I have found that the most straightforward way to handle this is to lead by example and be clear about them. Clearly outlining the rules for interacting with you makes it easier for everyone to communicate.

• Explain your boundaries as they come up.

• Speak in the first person.

• Outline the consequence of crossing the boundary

• Follow through!

This might feel ridiculous, or even hard to do especially if it means putting them in place with people you’ve known all your life, but creating boundaries with people in our work, romantic and personal lives keep everyone from feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of. Just remember this may go as smoothly as training a new puppy, lots of trial and error and reminding them of the boundary.

“If you want to change your life, change your choices.”